i live in a world where almost everyone i know and meet is pretty stable financially and educated. my parents spend more than 150 thousand pesos a year for my schooling and so do my classmates' parents or benefactors. medschool, home, family, my girlfriend, good friends, church, worship, coffeshops, restaurants, malls, movies and music compose most of my comfy world. apart from that i am not so familiar with.

on my way home from school, i pass by quite a long stretch of squatters' area along e rodriguez. as i look through the window of the fx or jeep that i ride, i get fascinated by how different people living there are from me - their homes, their activities, their businesses, and their plentiful children. although it's not my intention to insult their class of people, to me it's curious what frolics in their minds and how they can bear to live how they live. unless i reach out to them, i will never know.

i am going to be a doctor which can provide me with one of the best means to finally be able to reach out to them; because a million times woefully, the country we live in is gorged with all kinds of injustice imaginable, that even just the thought that someone sincerely thinks and cares for them, at least in healthcare matters, would likely mean something more than wonderful to them.

regarding my dilemma on what specialization to take, whether surgery or internal medicine, at this moment, while i am engrossed by all these thoughts, i choose internal medicine because i think this will give me more exposure to the poverty-stricken.

i know this inclination probably would fade over time. but it is my hope that it won't.

because many filipinos need a freaking hand.

*****

although i don't want to practice in tacloban and become an ophthalmologist like my father, i still think he is noble in the sense that he has compassion for the poor. and i believe that is more praiseworthy than any "success."